JAMES AND REGINALD
BY EUGENE FIELD
Once upon a Time there was a Bad boy whose Name was
Reginald and there was a Good boy whose Name was
James. Reginald would go Fishing when his Mamma told
him Not to, and he Cut off the Cat's Tail with the
Bread Knife one Day, and then told Mamma the Baby
had Driven it in with the Rolling Pin, which was a
Lie. James was always Obedient, and when his Mamma
told him not to Help an old Blind Man across the
street or Go into a Dark Room where the Boogies were,
he always Did What She said. That is why they Called
him Good James. Well, by and by, along Came Christmas.
Mamma said, You have been so Bad, my son Reginald,
you will not Get any Presents from Santa Claus this
Year; but you, my son James, will get Oodles of
Presents, because you have Been Good. Will you
Believe it, Children, that Bad boy Reginald said
he didn't Care a Darn and he Kicked three Feet of
Veneering off the Piano just for Meanness. Poor James
was so sorry for Reginald that he cried for Half an
Hour after he Went to Bed that Night. Reginald lay
wide Awake until he saw James was Asleep and then he
Said if these people think they can Fool me, they are
Mistaken. Just then Santa Claus came down the Chimney.
He had Lots of Pretty Toys in a Sack on his Back.
Reginald shut his Eyes and Pretended to be Asleep.
Then Santa Claus Said, Reginald is Bad and I will not
Put any nice Things in his Stocking. But as for you,
James, I will Fill your Stocking Plum full of Toys,
because You are Good. So Santa Claus went to Work and
Put, Oh! heaps and Heaps of Goodies in James' stocking,
but not a Sign of a Thing in Reginald's stocking. And
then he Laughed to himself and Said I guess Reginald
will be Sorry to-morrow because he Was so Bad. As he
said this he Crawled up the chimney and rode off in
his Sleigh. Now you can Bet your Boots Reginald was
no Spring Chicken. He just Got right Straight out of
Bed and changed all those Toys and Truck from James'
stocking into his own. Santa Claus will Have to Sit
up all Night, said He, when he Expects to get away
with my Baggage. The next morning James got out of
Bed and when He had Said his Prayers he Limped over
to his Stocking, licking his chops and Carrying his
Head as High as a Bull going through a Brush Fence.
But when he found there was Nothing in his stocking
and that Reginald's Stocking was as Full as Papa Is
when he comes home Late from the Office, he Sat down
on the Floor and began to Wonder why on Earth he had
Been such a Good boy. Reginald spent a Happy Christmas
and James was very Miserable. After all, Children, it
Pays to be Bad, so Long as you Combine Intellect with
Crime.
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